Life on the Farm

Life on the farm sucks. The End.
Only kidding :)
Did you know there is a board game called life on the farm? There is. You go around the board hoping to land on cattle auction and avoid the farm expense cards. Every now and then you'll land on lightning strikes loose one cow, or cows get out pay each neighbor 10$ per cow, or sell machinery shake one die and collect 100$ x ____. As long as you don't land on taxes you're usually okay.
Life on the REAL farm is a tad bit different. Cows do get out. I remember as a kid always having to chase the cows back into the pasture or running and sitting on a pile of dirt with a tree growing out of it in our yard for safety so you wouldn't get trampled by the cows. If you want a cow to go somewhere it will most definitely go in the opposite direction. I've never heard of a cow being struck by lightning but my aunt's apartment and car were. If the cows get out and trample onto one of the neighbors land it's a good idea to give the neighbor a couple packages of meat (either deer meat or steer/cow meat). Cows can be butchered for meat. Some city boy tried telling me once that only steers were butchered for meat. That is false. Typically you butcher steers for meat, because that's what they're solely raised for. But it is also very common to butcher cows. Particularly if the cow has a hurt leg and is limping a lot or if it's really old. A completely random side fact: farmer's file their taxes at a different time of the year than everyone else. Out on the farm in the country, animals are everywhere. It is not uncommon to see a skunk or a raccoon wandering around, bats flying overhead, or hear coyotes and baby raccoons making racket in the night. In the summer my family plays baseball in the hayfield, that way we have more room. If you ever want to go hiking, there are woods everywhere. My family usually takes a fall walk in the woods when all of the trees change color and we go walking all afternoon so we take a bag lunch with us. People can have parties deep in the woods at a clearing so no uninvited person (or police officers trying to break up parties) can get there (easily or by road). (I don't do this, nor does my family, but one of my neighbors used to all the time). Summers are always filled with field work: picking rock out of the fields, chopping thistles and baling hay. Camping in the woods is very cool. On the farm you can name all of the baby calves! One summer we named each calf a name starting with each letter of the alphabet. Often times a couple calves will be born with birth defects in a breeding year. Youngstock get their horns burned off. When I was younger, the farmer who lived down the road would always move his cattle to a different pasture in the spring and so he and a bunch of other people would ride on horses and herd the cattle to the other pasture. They had to run right past our house and sometime cattle would come in the yard. It was always very exciting and scary. When working out on the farm one must have barn clothes, clothes to wear to the barn, and anywhere else outside, where it will not matter if they rip or get covered in poop, muddy water or dirt. Now you know about the farm.
Why am I sharing all of this frivolous information about my life on the farm? I have absolutley no idea. Maybe it will come in handy one day, probably not though.